friends

Over the last 8 years I have made some amazing friends here in Montana. For the longest time I had only one good friend here. In the last year the friend base has increased 10 fold. I have been blessed with a group of girlfriends with whom I can share almost anything. It has been truly amazing to me that this has happened in the time that I have needed friends the most.
In the next week I will be having to say goodbye to a friend who has been a catilist for many of the friendships that I have developed. My friend is moving back to her home in New York and I will miss her dearly. The other day she said "I forced you to be my friend. I really didn't give you an option." The thing is if she hadn't "forced me to be her friend" I would have missed out on an wonderful friendship that I know will continue on well after she has moved away.
I don't always make myself the most open person to others. It is hard for me to put myself out there and truly share myself with others. Don't get me wrong I'm not the hermit type but forming real and caring relationships is hard for me to do. I will let people see the surface but to really let them in isn't something that is done easily. That's one reason I have this blog. I need to share things with others but it's hard for me to do that in person without feeling like a burden or feeling weak. I think people see me as strong and independant but underneath that is someone who stuggles with more then they will ever realize.
Though Christina will likely never read this I have to thank her for allowing me to be me, excepting me and my baggage, and helping me to find a small group of friends that will hopefully last a lifetime!