decisions!

We're now almost 2 weeks into our trip. On the drive out we had some crazy weather but overall it was a good trip. Close call with a speeding ticket, trip to Mount Rushmore, seeing Wall Drug and the corn palace. The trip to my parents house took us 3 1/2 days. We visited with them for 3 days. It was wonderful to see them and other family and a few friends (sorry Maggie that I didn't call, got way to busy). We have been here in Ohio now for 5 days. Since we have been here we have gotten fresh maple syrup, and visited Amish country. We have also been faced with a HUGE decision.

Chef's mom has been in the nursing home for 2 1/2 months now. She was placed there because the ambulance company talked to her doctor after several pickups. They told the doctor they didn't feel she was safe at home. The only way the doctor would release her from the hospital this last time was if she checked herself into a care facility. This was all news to us. Her story to us was that one day due to issues at home she decided to check herself in. We have also been to the Dr. with her since we've been here. That was truly eye opening as well. It has become abundantly clear that Chef's mom is in DENIAL!!!! She doesn't believe she has MS and is trying to convince her doctor of this. She is reaching out and trying to get herself diagnosed with any disease that has just one symptom of what she is experiencing. She is only looking for diseases that have cures. She wants to be well again and to be home, we understand this, however she isn't doing the treatments prescribed because she is in so much denial. She lied to the Dr and told her that where she is staying refuses to give her physical therapy. The reality is she has turning it away! She did start the therapy the day after the appointment though. She knows we would call her on it BIG TIME. Currently she is unable to walk or to transfer herself. She wants to come home desperately. That brings me to our issue of having to make decisions.

Mom doesn't want to sell her big house (which by the way is FULL of STUFF). We have been trying to figure out what we are supposed to do as family to help her and care for her as best we can. I have the training to be able to care for her, Chef's does not. I am scared to death that if we move here I will become the primary caregiver and thus give up the rest of my life to caring for loved ones with MS. We have tossed out the idea of buying her house thus she would be able to keep it should she get better. We would find her a small home in town that would meet her needs and if ever she could come back to her house then we would move to the smaller home. We have even talked about moving into her home with her and making changes to the home. This situation would require LOTS OF RULES FOR HER! We also would like to just run back to Montana and forget about everything here. We don't know what the best situation would be and even if she would be willing to do anything that we purpose.

She also has WAY to many resources to get Medicaid or SSI, this complicates things even more. She doesn't want to spend her money on care. She says she saved for to long to do that, and she wants to enjoy her money. We haven't been able to get any real direction for her bothers or sisters. We had dinner with some of them last night and tossed out our ideas but they didn't seem convinced that she would like any of our ideas.

Chef has not yet told anyone here of his MS complicating the situation more. Though at this time we think if his mom know she would use him as an example as to why she doesn't have MS for he doesn't have any of the problems that she does.

We are here in Ohio for about three more days. We need to get this at least somewhat figured out before we leave. We need to know if when we get home if we need to begin the process of putting our house on the market and job searching.

OH THE FUN!!!!Can I go home now!!!!